Fun with Fangs
by Acora78
Summary: What do you get when you mix together traitor computers, not-well-thought-through plans, kryptonite, more weird stuff, and the VK gang? This crack fic! KanamexYuuki. Rated T for sexual references. Read and Review!
1. Traitor Computers

**A/N- This is my first fanfic, so I feel so sorry for you poor souls that have to endure it TT_TT (I honestly hope it's not that bad…) I have to give a special thanks to my perverted friends who give me so many ideas, and make me wonder so many times why I sit at their lunch table…. Enjoy!!!**

**I don't own Vampire Knight… sadness. :'(**

Kaname's POV

I walked up to the grand door that led to Yuuki's and my room. Grasping the cold brass doorknob in my hand, I slowly pushed open the door. I scanned the room and my eyes came to rest on Yuuki, with an eager look on her face. She was staring at the computer screen, motionless. I would've thought she was in a coma or something, but

I heard her steady breathing. "Er… what are you doing, dear?" I asked, approaching her. "I'm on twitter." (A/N don't own twitter either, again sadness) she replied, still staring at the screen. She didn't even look at me! When did she start paying more attention to the computer than to me?!?! I should've never bought it. Even though it did help with my paperwork. Maybe when she turned around I could throw it out the window. Wait… no… the computer had never done anything to me. I had even been my friend in a weird way. "And what is twitter?" I asked trying to stop my natural pureblood obsessive-ness disorder. " Oh!!!! I got a reply!!!" she squealed in delight. Then she proceeded to tap away furiously on the keyboard. Gasp. No attention again. I felt myself weakening. No screaming fangirls. No drooling Yuuki. No attention. I think I'm melting! Weakening…slowly….slowly…weakening. Was that a smirk from the computer? IT HAD FOUND MY KRYPTONITE!!! OMG!!! "TRAITOR!!!" I screamed running out of the room. I needed to find a fangirl, quick.

Yuuki's POV

What the hell was that? That old man just couldn't keep up with the times.

Aidou's POV

"Ok, WHO STOLE MY POCKY?!?!" I yelled angrily (and sexily, man did I look good!! Wait…no…focus…angry face) Ruka shook her head. As well as Kain looking bored, Rima looking blankly at me, Ichijou trying to engage Shiki in a game of go-fish, and Shiki ignoring Ichijou and chewing on my pocky. Well I guess I must have misplaced it. Wait…. "SHIKI!!! YOU BAKA!!! WHY DID YOU TAKE MY POCKY?!?!" I yelled, once again, shaking my fist in his face. "Hm?" he replied with no emotion. I think he may be a secret emo. "Why-did-you-take-my-pocky." I repeated slowly. "Because it was sitting there and I was hungry." He replied, as if that was the natural response. I slapped my forehead in one of those why-do-I-even-try motions. "You ruined my genius plan, Shiki. I was going to give Kaname-sama the pocky. Then I was going to tell him that he had crumbs on his face. Then I was gonna give him a napkin. Then I was going to offer to throw it away, when secretly it would become part of my collection. It was perfect. AND YOU RUINED IT!!!" I said, then I slumped down on the couch pouting. "Whatever." He said rolling his eyes. "Here." He threw a pocky stick over to me. My eyes lit up. "Thank-you, thank-you, THANK-YOU!!!" I said, hugging Shiki as hard as I could. "Get off of me, freak." He growled, throwing me against the wall. "Ow." I whimpered. Kaname-sama came tearing down the stairs. "Kaname-sama! Here!" I said brightly, handing him the stick of pocky. He paused and stared at it a second. "No, no, NO!!! YOU'RE IN IT TOO!! ALL OF YOU HAVE JOINED RANKS WITH THE COMPUTER!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!" He screamed. Then he ran out the door. I stood there a second, staring at the place where he just stood. I turned around and saw that everyone was looking at me. " Awww man." I sighed.

**A/N- hehe!!! Chapter one is complete-o! Hope you like it so far. Yeah and the whole Adiou thinking he looks sexy thing does not express my opinion of him. I'm a sucker for Kaname. You gotta admit though, Adiou does seem like someone who would be stuck up with himself. Please review!! Or no chapter for you. Gooooood doggies. ^_^**


	2. Evil Therapists

**A/N- Yay!!! Chapter 2!!! I felt like updating 'cause of the reviews that made me feel all warm mushy inside. Thank you!! I really though the last chapter was longer than it turned out to be. It was two pages when I typed it… stupid traitor computers. :D**

Yuuki's POV

I walked downstairs and saw everyone sitting down on the couches… again. I mean, do any of them have a life??? If you're going to live for a thousand somewhat years, wouldn't you do something everyday?? Although I don't do much either and I'm living for an eternity. Oh well. I had more important things to worry about than the daily schedule. "Hey, have any of your guys noticed something wrong with onii-sama lately?" I said joining them on the couch. "Wait… there's something wrong with Kaname-sama? Is he sick?!? OH NO, HE HAS THE SWINE FLU!!! HE'S GONNA DIE!!!" Adiou shrieked, then collapsed on the floor. "I don't think he's been to Mexico lately." I said slowly, staring at him sobbing on the floor. "Oh." He said, dusting himself off then sitting on the couch again. "Erm… no not really. Why?" Ichijou asked, still staring at a now smiling Adiou. "Well, he's locked himself in our bathroom. He hasn't come out for," I paused and counted on my fingers, "Three days." "Well, did you try calling his name, and asking him to come out." Ruka asked. "Well, yeah. But whenever you do he screams 'Traitor Computers' and 'I'm melting!!" I answered. Everyone around me looked dumbfounded. "Ooo!! Did you try bribing him?" Ichijou inquired. "Yeah." "Did you try bribing him with everything?" "Yeah." I replied again. "Everything, Everything?" Ichijou asked with a smirk on his face. "Yes!" I replied for the third and final time, glaring at him. "Oooook then." He said, smirking still. I glared even harder. If looks could kill he would be dead, ten times over. "Yuuki, when did he start acting… weird." Rima asked. " Well, it was the day I set up my twitter account." I answered. "Ugh. You wouldn't pay attention to anything but the screen all day. Sooo annoying." Ruka noted. "THAT'S IT!!" I yelled. If I was in a cartoon their would be one of those light bulb things over my head. "What? You know what's wrong?" Kain asked. 'Well, yeah but onii-sama would kill me if I told you." I said bashfully. "He's in no erm… condition to be killing anyone." Ruka said. "Well, he has this problem. With attention. If you don't give him attention he, well, spazzes out." I said avoiding all their eyes. "Then there's only one thing to do." Shiki said. We all turned to face him. "Kaname needs to go to therapy."

Shiki's POV

I really shouldn't be here right now. Why did we all have to go to Kaname's therapy? It wasn't like we all needed it. Well I guess we all needed to be there because it's kind of hard to stuff a maniac pureblood into a limo and hold him down until we get to a stupid building and try to get this certain maniac pureblood just to magically calm down and tell this strange guy (who doesn't even know that Kaname, or any of us, are vampires) his feelings. It takes some muscle to do that. That's why each of us had one of his arms and legs to try to keep him down. Which isn't an easy task. "Maybe this wasn't a great idea after all." Yuuki said, staring at a struggling Kaname. Rima glared at her. Poor Rima had already been kicked twice and was feeling murderous. "But....bb" Adiou said sniffling, "If Kaname-sama doesn't go…he'll.. he'll… h.h.h.h.h" "SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!!" Said an aggravated Kain. " He'll never be the same again!!!" Adiou cried out then broke down sobbing. Not even Yuuki was THAT bad, and Kaname was her lover. "We're here." Said Ruka, gathering together her coat. This was not going to be fun.

Kain's POV

Stupid Shiki had to just suggest the stupid idea of go to the stupid therapist to fix Kaname's stupid problem and we had to stupidly come along. This is so stupid!!!! All of us were tired and wore out and Adiou was no help. I disown him. We walked in the office. The lady at the desk saw us struggling and as if it was normal, pointed us to a private room. We shackled Kaname to a chair and all of us slumped against the wall. Everyone was panting, except for Adiou who was still sobbing. "Someone shut him up!" Rima said, massaging her pressure points. I threw a magazine at his head… hard. "Ow." He mumbled then went unconscious. "Welcome to Dr. Rob's Therapy for the People who have Problems. I'm Dr. Rob." Said a short man. "I'm Yuuki. Thanks for helping us." Yuuki replied brightly holding out her hand to shake the Doctor's. " No problem! So what's wrong with… him." He eyed Kaname who was still struggling against the chair. Yuuki explained everything. " Well, I think I'm going to try a new technique. Hypnosis. If we snap him out of his problem it'll never come back. Now I need you all to leave the room." The small man said pushing us out the door. Maybe I should be worried about this. Or I could just sit here. I think I'll just sit here.

Dr. Rob's POV

What a weird group. It's not everyday that a group of super model looking people walk into this wacko shack. This guy seemed to be their leader. Well he seems to have the good life. Rich, hot, lot's of girls. I'll fix his problem, but at a cost. I pulled out my hypno watch. His eyes followed it as it swayed back and forth. " At the count of three you will go into a deep sleep. 1… 2… 3." His head drooped over to the side. "When you wake up you will be fine. You will not have an attention problem. Also whenever someone says the word," What word? Hmmm… something that people will say too often but also not something that they won't say at all. I wanted him to be embarrassed. " The word blood you will do the chicken dance." I smiled mischievously.

Yuuki's POV

"Are you sure you're o.k., onii-sama?" I asked. I was worried he would go into a relapse or something. "I'm fine Yuuki. Stop worrying." He replied. When he came out of the therapy room he had looked ashamed. Maybe I should stop reminding him about it. We pulled up to cross academy and everyone loaded out. " If anyone needs me I'll be in my room asleep." Said Rima. I had felt so bad when she got kicked. Saying sorry over and over didn't help much. " Onii-sama, would you like a blood tablet?" I asked. A weird look came in his eye. Then he started doing… the chicken dance?!?! What the heck?? Where did that come from?? " Onii-sama!!" He stopped and looked at me. " What?" " What did you just do?" I asked. He looked confused. " Yuuki, dear, I just walked out of the limo." He replied. "Uh no. You just did the chicken dance." Kain said bewildered. "What?!?" Kaname said in complete confusion. Crap. We had left the therapist's office with more problems than we started with.

**A/N- Not as happy with this chapter as I was with the last… At least it's longer (in your face computers!!!) Well, that means the next chapter has to be REALLY random/funny/weird. Well please review and I'll update quicker!!! (~ *_* ~)**


	3. Yoga in Pink

**A/N- Grrrrr… parents can be so annoying. Especially when you're trying to write fun stuff. Kill joys. Anywayz, thanks for reviewing! I promised a better chapter after the last so here it is… hopefully. ^~ ^**

Kaname's POV

O.k, I come home from a therapist after having this diva fit, and now they say I was doing the chicken dance. I am COMPLETELY fed up with them. I've decided. I'm changing my name, growing a mustache, and moving to Germany. And no I don't know why I picked Germany! I was gonna pick Mexico but I don't like wearing surgical masks. "Yuuki! Kain! Adiou! Ruka! Shiki! Rima! I already feel bad enough don't make it worse!!" I yelled angrily. " But onii-sama!! What if you're sick again?" Yuuki said worriedly. I sighed. I couldn't leave her for Germany. Besides I hate liederhosen… * shudders * " I've decided that I'm moving out for a week or so to get myself together again. I'll be back." I turned around and ran into the door. Wow. I hate this week. Once outside, I headed towards the day class dormitory. Time to pay Zero a little visit.

Zero's POV

I looked out the window to check that no one was watching. I closed the blinds. I then turned to the small mat laid out on the floor. Looking behind my back I started to do my guilty pleasure… yoga. I found out that yoga really helped my anger issues, but if anyone saw me then my reputation of the ultra-cool macho hunter dude would fall through the floor. I did the tree position to warm up. Then there were the harder poses. Sun, swan breathe, breathe Swan, sun breathe, breathe DRAGONFLY!!!! The pose required that my head looked at my pink t-shirt and pants. Yes, pink. Yuuki washed her red panties with my whites. When she left for that… thing… I didn't have a rose or a first/last kiss to remember her by. Just pink clothing. I stretched myself into another pose.

Kaname's POV

I went up the stairs of the day class boy's dormitory. All the guys were glaring at me. I really had made myself a reputation here. I pulled my suitcase over to Zero's room and paused. I took a deep breath and looked through the peephole. OMG!!! IS HE MAKING OUT WITH HIS BUTT?!?! Oh no, he's doing yoga. Wait… Yoga?!?! I had to stop myself from rolling on the ground laughing. * pant, pant * I might have had a diva fit but this beats anything. Especially when he's wearing pink. I pulled my camera out of my bag (A/N- I really don't know when he got the bag, guess he has the ability to pack bags with his mind, then teleport them?!?!?) and snapped a couple pictures. These would come in handy when I wanted things done. Blackmailing is the best way to get the fastest response.

Yuuki's POV

He left! I can't believe it! Well, if he's going to leave me then I'll leave him… for… for… for Zero!! Mwhahaha!! That would make him mad. Then he would be begging for me to come back. My evil plan was perfect. All I had to do was to get dressed in a sexy dress, go over to Zero's and have him drool all over me, and when Kaname came looking for me he would see everything and think that I had left him!! Then I would refuse him. Then he would either kill Zero or beg. Either way I would get him back. (A/N Sorry Zero fans, I just find it hilarious that she's using poor Zero and doesn't even care if he dies :D ) I had been too nice to Kaname. But now it would be different, MWHAHAHA!!! * Maniacal laugh *

Zero's POV

Ahhh… there's nothing like a good yoga session. Wait… what was that creak? It was coming from outside the door. HAD SOMEONE SEEN ME?!?! What's that noise… a click? Hmmm… CAMERA!!! OMG SOMEONE HAD SEEN ME AND WAS TAKING PICTURES!!! I felt myself getting overworked. There went my yoga session. I needed to calm down. There was probably no one out there. Yeah, I had just heard a girl clicking a picture of one of the night class freaks. That was all. I sighed and put my uniform back on. There was a knock at the door. I opened it and saw Kuran standing there smirking. This was not good.

Ruka's POV

I swear, nothing could go worse this week. First Kaname-sama goes into this crazed attention deprivation thing, then the stupid therapist makes him do the chicken dance whenever he hears the word blood, then he denies everything and runs off causing Yuuki to go into this mid-life crisis. * sigh * We needed to do something. I stepped down the stairs to sit with everybody. "Anyone else feel like we should fix this?" I asked glancing at everyone. Adiou raised his hand immediately. Ichijou nodded. Kain shrugged. Shiki and Rima did one of those 'kind of' symbols. "What do we do though?" Ichijou asked. "Any ideas?" I asked hopefully. "We could kidnap Yuuki, then Kaname would go into a frenzy trying to save her. Once he 'saved' her everything would be fine!" Adiou said. Shiki threw an empty pocky box at him. Kain mumbled 'baka'. Although I hated agreeing with Adiou, his plan could possibly work. " He may have an idea there." I said. Kain stared at me dumbfounded. "Wouldn't Kaname-kun kill us? How would we explain our absence?" He asked with a did-you-just-go-crazy look on his face. " Well, we could say we were looking for Yuuki. And we could be disguised as well." I pointed out. "OOOOO!!! I wanna be a girl!!" Adiou said excitedly. "I think that mental image may have scarred me for life." Rima said. "Erm… I don't think that changing our gender will be necessary." I replied. " Awww man!" " Are we going with this plan or not?" I inquired. "Why not?" everyone replied. Now to set up the specifics.

**A/N- Ohhh!!! What will happen? Will the plan work? Why am I asking you when I'm the author??? Hehe, well this I suppose was better than the last chapter. Hey, review and leave some ideas for the story o.k? I feel like seeing what other people want in the story. Be creative!! Winner(s) will be mentioned. Gotta give you credit!! More reviews and I will update! ^-^ v_v o.o **


	4. Stupid Fish Net

**A/N- Hello!!! Man, it feels like a long time since I updated, but it gave people time to review!! Thank you soooooooooo much!! My e-mail was FILLED with all the reviews, alerts, and favorite adds. That doesn't mean I don't like them though! ^_^ ******** Whoa, it automatically added that as a real smiley face on my document, coolness!!**

                             **Sorry, that was a really immature moment…**

What happened last chapter: Kaname saw zero enjoying his guilty pleasure, yoga in pink. Yuuki was very upset about Kaname leaving and decided to get him back the hard way. The rest of the night class was planning how to kidnap Yuuki to hopefully bring Kaname back to normal.

Zero's POV  
WHY ME?!?! WHY HIM!?!?! Of everyone in this whole school it had to be the one vilest, cruelest creature I could possibly think of, Kuran. He had seen me doing yoga in my horrible pink clothes. (A mental note to self, receive revenge on Yuuki.) He was the one standing there with a smirk on his face, swinging a camera by the string in his hand. I f only I had an evil twin brother to blame everything on. Wait… I DID have an evil twin brother! " It's not what you think, those pictures are not of me, they're of Ichiru. I'm not wearing stupid pink clothes am I?" I said rolling my eyes, for convincing effect. I saw his mouth drop a bit. He was going to buy it. " Where is Ichiru?" he replied, looking more satisfied. Crap. "Er… he jumped out the window when he felt your presence." I said, struggling to get out of the trap he had created for me. " Well, the first thing is you have no window in your room. The second thing is, Ichiru is dead. You ate him." There it was. I was a small fish caught in the net of his words. There was no hope for me now.

Yuuki's POV

Now I was ready. My perfect blood red dress that flowed like a waterfall, cascading all over my body, was on and was completed with the perfect jewelry. The plan was to go to Zero's and say that I was going to go to a party, but it had been canceled and I was freezing so I stopped at his room before going to the night class dorm. I walked out the door into the freezing air. Emphasis on freezing. I wish I could like teleport or something to in front of his room. I walked up the staircase with all the day class guys staring at me. They really had no manners. You don't just stare at a person. Even if I am completely and entirely hot. Finally, his room. I opened the door and walked inside.

Kaname's POV

(A/N- I'm trying to make Kaname less weird because of sagittariusleo who stated that he was becoming quite weird. * btw, Thanks for the helpful criticism! * Also, it's really hard to come up with his faults^_^.) It was fun to watch Zero struggle to come up with an answer to my inquiries. After all that had happened, It was nice to see someone trying to cover up their mistake. I watched his expression as he surrendered. I was in charge now. While I was planning what he would have to do as torture, when the door swung open. I turned around and saw Yuuki with her mouth wide open in such a sexy dress. It waved and flowed and was in such a nice color. Wait, focus. She was fuming mad. "You leave me, then you take Zero too? What kind of a onii-sama/lover are you??" She sobbed then stormed out the room. I turned around and saw Zero smirking. "Oh, shut up." I muttered.

Rima's POV

This plan was risky. Risky enough that if Dorm Leader Kaname found out we might not live… but of course, we were doing it anyway. When did we ever think of risks and taking chances? After living for so long, you would think we would have learned. I tried to pay attention to the plan. "O.k, well step one, as we agreed, is that we tell Yuuki that we know how she can get Kaname back, but she can't tell him no matter what. Then we take her to that cave in the woods, and leave the ransom note for Kaname. He will see the note and follow all the clues we left out earlier, and find the cave. When he walks in he will see Yuuki bound and gagged, and see us, disguised of course, running through that secret exit. We get back to the dorms and act all surprised when Kaname-sama walks in with Yuuki." Ruka said looking around. "You forgot to mention that if anything goes wrong we're dead meat." Shiki mentioned nonchalantly. At least he had some sense in him. I looked over gratefully at him. "But if it works everything goes back to normal." Kain argued. "True… everything has been too weird for me." Shiki surrendered. So much for sense. If we got caught, we would be in trouble… big time.

**A/N- Hmmm… I think I jumped around a lot in that chapter. It didn't really flow, ya know? Oh well… next chapter you have the kidnapping to look forward too. Or should I say Vampnapping? Who would want to kidnap a vampire anyways? Wow… what a stupid question. Kaname fangirls. (Which includes me, hehe!) Please review!!**


	5. Rat's Nests

**A/N- Hello everyone!! Sorry for the late update. Wait, doesn't every author say sorry? So I am NOT sorry!!! I will make you suffer!!! Mwahahahaha!!!! Not really…. I luv you guys in the way you would love a pet fish that reviews your story. Wait, What?!? I confuse myself. Enough of my blabbing. Do I really need to say I don't own VK? I mean seriously folks, I'm on fanfiction. ^_^**

Yuuki's POV

Onii-sama could be so cruel. He takes everything I love as his own and leaves me with, well, I don't know. I sunk down into the sofa. I was too mad to think at the moment. I perked up when I heard footsteps and recognized them as Ruka's. She turned the corner and began to speak. "Yuuki, we noticed how, erm, unfair Kaname-sama was being to you. So we decided to help you get him back and to teach him a lesson at the same time. But you cannot tell him anything. Even after you have him back. Nothing." I noticed she kept on using 'we' when no one was around. What was she talking about? Her and her designer shoes or something? Despite that, what she was saying was interesting me. I felt the mischievous side of me grow. "I'm in." I replied grinning. She looked satisfied and started towards me.

Kaname's POV

I was abashed. My poor Yuuki felt as though I had deserted her for this vile… thing. The thing at the moment was rolling on the floor laughing. "Karma hates you, Kuran." He said between bouts of laughter. I stood up and angrily flipped the bed on him. A look of surprise crossed his face and then… crash. I smiled in satisfaction. Now to find Yuuki.

Rima's POV

Ruka rushed in the room with an apparently knocked out Yuuki. Strips of cloth bound her feet and gagged her mouth. I raised my eyebrows in an are-we-really-going-to-do-this manner. She sighed. "Don't you want everything to go back to normal?" I nodded. " I do but I would rather that we don't get pummeled to a pulp when Kaname-senpai finds out." I replied. " If, Rima, if." She said lying Yuuki on the couch. I sighed and proceeded to help her carry the pureblood to the place where it would all happen.

Adiou's POV

I added one more blanket to the heap in the floor where Yuuki-sama was to be put. "Adiou, would you stop piling blankets upon blankets on the floor. She'll smother herself in your 'caring'" Kain said irritatingly. I sighed. "But what If she's not comfortable?" I said worriedly. Shiki stared at me. " We. Are. Kidnapping. Her." He said simply but sharply. I sighed again. Why couldn't we be nice kidnappers? Like that one faun in _The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. _(A/N- Do not own that book or Mr. Tumnus *don't think I spelled it right *) He was nice. But he got turned to stone. I pondered that a second. "We've got her." Said Ruka approaching us with Rima, carrying Yuuki-sama. "Put her down on the rat's nest over there." Kain said pointing to the blankets I had placed. " It's not a rat's nest!" I snapped. " Whatever." He replied rolling his eyes. They laid her down. She looked so peaceful, except for the gag and… well… yeah. "He won't be too angry will he?" I asked. "We won't live to find out." Rima answered. Ruka glared at her. "He won't ever know it was us." She replied. Now all that was left to do was wait.

Kaname's POV

I opened the door slowly and walked into our room. " Yuuki, dear…" She wasn't anywhere. I searched the entire dorm. She wasn't anywhere. I felt myself seething with anger. I looked on my desk an saw a ransom note. "_Come to the cave in the wood if you ever want to see your princess again." _It read. My eyes flashed red and the note disintegrated. Whoever took Yuuki would pay.

**A/N- That was a pretty serious chapter. Lol, My mom came in with the sheets for my bed and my originally white blanket looked pink. I asked her about it and she said she had tried to get it out. I cracked up laughing and she looked at me like a freak. I couldn't help it! :D Well review my peeps and I will update a longer and hopefully funnier story!**


	6. The Ghost of the Koolaid Man

**A/N- O.k this chapter should be good 'cause I'm on like a sugar craze right now, so some interesting things may appear on this paper… you have been warned :D… Thanks to all my reviewers and stuff. I am now trying to reply to all my reviews and to people who are just bored and are procrastinating on studying… which I'm not doing…*nervous laugh*…. DON'T JUDGE ME!!!! :D**

Ruka's POV

I was glaring at Adiou with all my might. He sheepishly stole looks into my eyes to see if I was still mad. "Erm… I don't get it. What did I do wrong?" he asked pouting. "Oh, I don't know," I replied sarcastically, twirling a strand of my hair in my hand, " YOU GOT YUUKI-SAMA DRUNK WHILE WE WERE KIDNAPPING HER!!!!!!" I screamed. Everyone turned to look at me, but no one protested to what I was saying. Adiou was trying to make himself shrink, like he would do in school when we were younger and he was getting punished by the teacher. Oh, but I was MUCH more mad than that freakin' teacher. We were kidnapping a pureblood-which was risky already- to tick off another much more powerful pureblood, and now he had gotten our victim drunk. How in the world were we supposed to work with a drunk pureblood??? "But whenever I get drunk, I feel so happy and bubbly. Yuuki-sama was looking sad. I was only trying to help!!" He defended. I continued to glare at him. " Ruka!! Hehe, everyone is spinning!! Is it a dancing party thingy? I WANNA JOIN!!" Yuuki spoke then started to sing a Michael Jackson song. The combination resulted in a sound that was like a donkey watching a cat puke up a dying frog. It was that bad. "You're right, Ruka. Maybe I did do the wrong thing." Adiou started, "She's singing that song ALL wrong!!!" He said before joining in himself. "Oh, no. You get back here, mister." I said pulling him away from a swaying Yuuki. "JUST KEEP SWIMMING!!" Yuuki yelled out randomly. I sighed and rolled my eyes. "What should we do about this?" I asked everyone. Adiou raised his hand. "What?" I spat. " I think we should re-educate her in the art of Nemo. She got that wrong. It should go…" He said before I cut him off. "That is the LAST of our worries." I hissed. "I told you we would so die. But no one listened did they?" Rima stated. "Oh, shut up." I mumbled. "IF WE WERE A MOVIE, I'D BE THE BEST FRIEND, YOU'D BE THE RIGHT GUY..." Yuuki started. We WERE going to die.

Zero's POV

I felt myself falling into a dark abyss, well at least darker than usual. Ichiru was dead? Since when? My whole family had died… and now him??? I ran to the Chairman's office. "Oh. Zero." He said simply when I basically broke down his door. "When did Ichiru die?" I shouted my bloody rose pointed at his head. It never occurred to me that it wouldn't hurt him, but it was a gun. "Zero, you ate him. He was like your before dinner snack. Why didn't you tell me you were going to eat him? I had this great recipe…" he whined. "Liar!!" I yelled and ran out the door. I sat down on my dorm bed. "Zero… I've come to haaaaaunnnnnt you!" a ghostly voice stated. I turned and saw a figure. "Ichiru?" I asked. "Noooooooo, I'm the Kool-aid maaaaannnnnn." The voice said. Another voice came in an other direction. " And I'm the Pringles guuuuuuuyyyyyyyy." "We've come to rape yoooooouuuuuu." They said in unison. "NO IT'S MY WORST NIGHTMARE!!! I'M BEING RAPED BY THE LOGOS OF SNACK FOOD ITEMS!!!!" I screamed. "Or, was it being raped by Brad Pitt?" I rethought. "THIS IS PRETTY BAD TOO!!!" I decided. I turned and jumped out the window. Except for the fact I had no window. Which would mean I hit the wall. Hard. I felt the room spin and I started getting black patches in my eyesight. The last thing I saw was the two logos standing over me.

Yori"s POV

I was sitting in a chair right next to Zero's bed in the infirmary. He had been found in his room unconscious. Since I happened to be volunteering in the infirmary the time it happened, I was stuck with him. I checked my watch. He should've been awake a minute ago. I was about to get the head nurse when I saw him slightly open his eyes. I watched him carefully. He opened his eyes and looked around. He stopped and looked at me. "It's a good thing your awake, Zero. I was staring to wor…" I said before being cut off. "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU LOGO!!!" He screamed. He picked me up and threw me across the room. By the time I stopped wailing in pain, he was gone. Why did Yuuki always pick guy freaks as friends?

**A/N- Where in the world did that come from??? Yeah, it was a bit short, but maybe I should go on a sugar craze EVERY time I update. I literally let my mind roam and came up with… that. I mean where did I get the Kool-aid man and the Pringle guy raping Zero????? I'm such a freak. O.k I've decided that I need at least one review to update the next chapter so review o.k? **


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